he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
