We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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