Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
