So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
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It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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