I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
