what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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