I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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