I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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