I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Walk of Shame today included voting.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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