That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.