Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize