I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
