I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
