i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize