your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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