im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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