the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize