Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
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he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
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I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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