I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize