Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
