Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize