Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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