New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize