no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize