Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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