2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon