ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.