she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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