I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
