You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
