I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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