why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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