I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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