did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
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My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
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You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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