so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order