found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
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pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
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I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably