Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.