why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
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Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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