Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
