Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
tell me about the fingering
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