my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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