Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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