Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
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