dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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