People in love make me want to vomit
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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