Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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