What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
