I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
