this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
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So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
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She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Drunk is a universal language darling
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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