So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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