my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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