I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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