I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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